Mother Love

I am not a naturally patient person.

I get annoyed at slow traffic and when my sister takes too long to get ready and when waiters are slow at a restaurant and just at waiting on anything in general. It’s a weakness of mine, and so many times in life I have to consciously remind myself that being hurried or quick about everything isn’t necessarily a glowing quality. Patience is gold, and I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of it in my bank account.

I’ve discovered that waiting on a baby to decide to be born is one of the truest tests of patience there ever will be.

I’ve found out that bodies don’t go into labor based on sheer will power and no matter how long or hard you stare at your belly and will it to start doing SOMETHING, it doesn’t. I told Ben a few days ago that it’s really so funny to me that one of the biggest events that will ever occur in our lives is so absolutely out of our own control and planning. You can bounce on a fitness ball for hours, pour hot sauce all over your food, take vigorous walks, and, um, other helpful things…and still, that baby will come when it will come. And you know, it’s ok. Our expectancy is heightened in the waiting, and even though I have some days when I want to feel so disappointed and discouraged that I’ve made it through another night or day without this baby in my arms, I know that this little one will come when the time is right. JUST PLEASE LET THAT BE SOON.

I am feeling pretty good most days, and while I have had some random bouts of nausea here and there in the past week, I have very little to complain about! Sleep is still a hit or miss, but like I’ve said all along, it’s such a great way to start getting used to less sleep, right? Some days I have boundless energy and other days zero energy, and I’ve just learned to take it as it comes. On the energy days, I clean and cook and organize, and take naps and watch Food Network and read magazines on the no energy days. I’m definitely getting more of those preliminary contractions, and every time they happen, I try to will them to just keep going and going…and one day, they will! And then we will do this thing called labor and delivery, and then our baby will be snuggled in our arms! Contractions are my friend (…although maybe don’t remind me of that when i’m actually doing the labor thing, haha!).

Everything is all ready at our home…baby room, birthing supplies, freezer meals, etc. I clean the bathrooms and kitchen floors almost every other day just so it’s for sure done when labor comes…because I’m not sure I could totally relax into the whole deal if there was messiness or clutter around, hehe. I made a batch of scones yesterday to keep in the freezer for my family when they come and for the midwives to munch on if they want while they wait on baby too. If baby waits too much longer, there may be a host of other goodies to welcome them as well. I just have to find things to do or else time goes much too slowly.

In some ways, it’s almost odd to think how quickly I will go from being pregnant to not being pregnant. I mean, it’s been my state for the past nine months, and in a matter of a few hours (or many hours, depending how our labor goes), my belly will deflate and that little human will no longer be inside of me. I have to wonder if I will somehow miss it sometimes…that sacred feeling of carrying a life inside of me. I do have to admit…I am looking forward to having a bigger variety of things to wear, since most of my shirts have by now turned into crop tops and my dresses end up a whole lot shorter than I’m comfortable with. A small price to pay for this child, of course, but it will be fun to wear some of my old clothes again!

One thing that has become my prayer in these last days of waiting is to not allow myself to lose sight of the joy and specialness of this season out of the anticipation and eagerness to be done with the waiting. I don’t succeed at that all the time, and some days I find myself feeling so frustrated and anxious…but taking time to pray and regain perspective sets my heart towards the joy once again. I want to cherish these last days with my child inside of me and not just wish them away. Soon (right? RIGHT?), this little one will make its way into our world, our home, and our arms.

And we couldn’t be more excited.

What about you: did you find the last days/weeks of waiting to be the hardest? What is your advice for this final season of waiting?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I am about to embark on the one of the greatest journeys a woman can face…motherhood.

Any day now, our first child will be born into this world, and I know from that moment on, my life will never be the same. I’ve been a lot of things in life…friend, sister, daughter, wife…but never a mama. I have yet to walk through the joys and challenges and changes that come from bringing a new life into the world, and today I am super excited to bring you (and me!) some tips and advice from some of my favorite mom bloggers for those of us who are entering in this new stage of life.

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Sarah Esh // Come What May
Mama to Carson

“If I could leave brand new moms with one piece of advice, it would be this: motherhood, and especially new motherhood, can feel lonely and isolated. No matter how hard or tiring or impossible it seems, prioritize relationships with those dearest to you and reach out to those who might be feeling lonely too. Build a group of friends who will encourage and support you, and who you can encourage and support in turn. Each and every stage of motherhood with have moments to celebrate and moments of heartache where you need a shoulder to cry – surround yourself with your closest girlfriends who can be with you through it all.

A second piece of advice: parenting is too serious to take too seriously. Enjoy each and every moment. Kiss your children often. Read books and play games together, even though the sink is full of dirty dishes and the laundry hasn’t been folded. And every once in a great while, let the kids stay up past their bedtime.

Thirdly, as a mom, grocery shopping alone is comparable to sunning yourself on a white sandy beach in the West Indies. When it happens, bask in the moment, because it really is the little things that make this life so wonderful!”

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Clarita Barkman // Skies of Parchment
Mama to Zoe, Olivia, + Hudson

“As I look back on the first few days and weeks after my babies were born, it feels like a beautiful dream! That fresh, darling newborn baby, so perfect he would make me cry just looking down at him – he seemed so straight from Heaven. I wish I could have a newborn all the time…I love them so much!

My advice is this: just soak it in and relax. Don’t stress about how someone else parents, or about how to “do it right.” Just love your little newborn, because you’ll blink and they will be a month old or a year old, and the time passes so quickly. Hold your baby, cuddle him, don’t worry about spoiling him the first little bit. This precious little baby has been with you all its existence, and it is so soothing for him to be near you now. God gave this baby to you, not to anyone, and so nurture him with the instincts and gifting God has given to you. Don’t compare your mothering to someone else’s. Just love. Just delight. Just soak it in. It’s okay to ask advice from other women and mothers, but still be YOU.

On a practical note: sleep when you are tired! It is a stage where sleep sometimes feels non-existent, and if you need to sleep during the day, do. If your housework doesn’t feel caught up, it’s okay. Rest when you can, and it’s okay if you tell someone you’d love to see them but to please visit tomorrow when you are less exhausted. It’s okay to cry, even if you don’t know why. Your hormones have gone through the biggest change in the world, and they are trying to get back to normal. And sometimes you may feel over-the-moon contented and delighted, and other times will want to cry for no apparent reason. It’s okay. Be gentle with yourself.

And I always liked to have a few treats prepared for myself for after baby…little gifts to myself. Things like…delicious protein drinks (like Naked or Bolthouse Farms) to give added nutrition those first few weeks…or a few things like new slippers, new pajamas, and cozy and pretty lounge clothes for the weeks I’d be mostly at home but knew company would be coming.”

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Shelley Smucker // Frame of Mind
Mama to Jocelyn + Charlotte

“A bit of advice that is not original to me: You have to learn this skill set. I just love that thought, and it has stuck with me and given me hope that this third time around, I will hopefully know more than I did with the previous two!

I know that we all want to be the best mothers we can possibly be, from the ver moment that we give birth. However, it’s rather silly if you think about it, because we won’t approach anything else in life that way. We don’t pick up a violin for the first time and expect to be flawless rendition of Moonlit Sonata. We don’t hop on a snowboard for the first time and expect to master the half pipe and mogul. So why do we assume it will be that way with babies?

Even though pregnancy and childbirth are some of the “natural” things in all creation, these things still have to be learned. And learning takes time, experience, and yes, even mistakes now and then. So please, dearest new mom, give yourself grace! Run to Jesus, and call on others for help and support…allow yourself time to learn. It is so encouraging to see progress in yourself and realize that, yes, these life experiences are shaping and molding and refining me.

Often it will feel that as soon as you have learned something well and gotten into a bit of a routine…it changes. And since babies grow at the speed of lightening, the learning curve is steep! So try and be flexible, go with the flow, and be willing to start all over often. So whether this applies to nursing, scheduling, sleep training, whatever…remember that you are learning right along with your baby. You’re both brand new at this. It will take time and that’s ok.

It’s a beautiful thing to grow together.