Mother Love

I hope your holiday weekend was as lovely as ours! We enjoyed our three days together immensely, and it felt like we really did soak it up and enjoy it…versus the whole weekend speeding by without realizing it. We got things done that we needed to around the house, plus time with family and friends, plus good relaxation, plus a little out-and-about.

We kicked off the weekend with grilling burgers and watching a movie at home on Friday night…date night in, you know! Before I had a baby, I used to think those date-night-in-things didn’t count. But they do…they totally count.

Most of Saturday was spent at home working on organizing the garage, housework, yard work, and other etceteras. Ben finished up the shelves for the kitchen and got them installed and they turned out more beautifully than I even imagined. He has this uncanny ability to create exactly what I want with things like that when I don’t even know exactly what I want. Ayla and I sat out in the garage for while offering moral support and company while he stained wood and drilled shelf brackets and did his magic. I ran into town for a few things in the afternoon (i.e. target…yep) while Ayla napped and then we spent the evening at Ben’s brother’s house for dinner and conversation on their patio. It was such a gorgeous, relaxing evening with two of our favorite people…and all the kids were asleep by eight-thirty so the uninterrupted conversations were fun, hehe.

We spent Sunday morning at home, having a leisure breakfast of omelettes and toast, and giggling over our sweetie-girl once she finally decided to wake up (eight thirty!). Sometimes we literally act like smitten teenagers over our baby girl and there’s hardly a day that goes by that one of us doesn’t make the comment “I can’t believe she’s our daughter!” We just like her a lot. My parents and grandparents were on their way home from visiting family in Illinois and were coming right through Nashville, so we made lunch and they stopped in for a quick meal together. We also met some friends from New York for coffee in the afternoon before going to an evening church service.

Monday started out with Ben sending me out for a solo coffee/breakfast date while he kept Ayla, and it felt so strange to be sitting with my coffee and food alone without my little girl with me! It was super fun, but honestly, I just wanted to go rushing home to my little family, hehe. We did some things around the house once I got back and then headed out for the mall to shop for some things Ben needed…and ok, I went shopping too. I found a winter coat for Ayla at fifty-percent discount, which I was happy for! We stopped for lunch after leaving the mall and ended up having a great conversation with the older couple sitting next to us at the community-style table…who also ended up paying for our meal, the sweet dears!

We went back home for the afternoon for more house/yard work and then headed out for a state park about ten minutes away for a picnic by the lake. There was a beautiful paved walking trail through the woods so we took Ayla out in the stroller before laying out a blanket on the shore for chicken salad sandwiches, veggies + hummus, and fudge brownies. It was a gorgeous evening, and honestly, it felt good to be back “in nature” again after our two weeks in the suburbs, ha. It’s so super nice to have a park close by we can escape to when we need to walk through the trees and see the lake again.

Here are five things I love:

– this quote
– these helpful tips
– this song
– this funny
– this tasty recipe

What about you: what did you do with the holiday weekend?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I learned something this past week.

I learned that worship is something different than what I’ve known it to be. I learned that even the most mundane, every day things can be spiritual…an act of worship unto the Lord. I learned that it’s not about being in a church service or singing or all the conventional things we define as worship that actually gives our hearts life and blesses the Lord.

We visited a new church here in Nashville this past Sunday, and boy, did my heart need church. Last week was a particularly challenging week for me, and I was left feeling drained and weary. I hadn’t been at church for two weeks because of our move, and while I believe in the importance of practicing a private/individual relationship with God outside of church, there is just something about being with a gathering of fellow believers to worship and bless God together that offers something different to your heart than all the private worship in the world. We get to this new church and were warmly welcomed and a sweet woman showed us all around and we sat down to wait for the service. I knew Ayla would be ready to eat about the time church started, and so I decided to go ahead and feed her before it began so I could get back in time for worship. Music worship is my favorite way of connecting to God, and I needed it that night. It was like my soul was just craving music worship…my mouth aching to sing…my spirit longing to be touched with a new connection to Jesus.

I fed Ayla and came back into the main room only a few minutes after the first song started…and before I even got to our seats to join Ben, I felt her stiffen up in my arms and soon she starts crying. The music was loud and the lights were dim and it was a strange, new place, and I suddenly knew it would just be too much for her tiny ears and self right now. I took her up to the nursing mama’s room and got her quieted down…and I just wanted to feel frustrated. I NEEDED WORSHIP, GOD.

There was a screen set up in the nursery with live streaming so I could still watch and hear the service, but it just didn’t feel the same, you know? I sat there and started to feel sorry for myself…they were singing some of my favorite songs and I was craving this time and I needed it…and here I was, stuck in the nursery with my baby, unable to worship, unable to engage in what I wanted to do.

And then this quiet voice reminds me…that what I was doing in this moment….loving, nurturing, caring for my child…was worship. This was worship to Him. Being a mama and giving up what I wanted and/or felt like I needed for the sake of my little girl was a pure form of worship…because worship isn’t about singing or music or time with other believers. Worship is about living a life given to Jesus.

So I sat in that room alone, watching my baby girl coo at her little toys, and I was worshipping. It was beautiful and sacred and Jesus met me there. And I learned that sometimes worshipping as a mother looks differently than what we think it is.

What about you: has there been times when responsibilities as a mother have kept you from doing what you felt your heart needed?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!