Mother Love

The other day I made a list…because you know I love my lists.

I made a list because I realized that my little girl was getting older, growing right before my eyes. She’s starting to watch me and her dad, constantly noticing what we are doing…and she’s taking it in. She’s watched us all along of course, sitting in her Bumbo seat or bouncing in her jumper. But she’s just been a baby so far and it was just watching. There wasn’t that grown-up, observant look in her eyes that she has now…that taking in of all that is going on around her. It’s good, of course, that observant eye. But I’ll be honest…it scares me sometimes.

Because she’s watching me. She’s watching me all day, every day. She sits in the kitchen at my feet as I prepare food and bake treats and clean the dishes. She watches me curl my hair and put on make up and pick out clothes for the day. She’s right beside me as I fold laundry. She hears me when I talk to her dad and sits on my lap when I’m spending time with friends. She’s with me as I buy groceries or shop for things. She watches me as I sit, walk, eat, rest, love, work, worship. And in all of this, she is looking to me to show her what a woman is.

I will be her standard of normal for womanhood.

What an undeniably sacred, overwhelming, beautiful calling. I feel so inadequate for this…I feel so unprepared. I feel like I need her to stay small for a whole lot longer yet so I can get my act together. I don’t feel ready to have this precious little girl watching me and looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. But maybe I won’t ever feel ready, really…because we don’t ever fully arrive, right? We’re always growing, changing, journeying toward greater freedom and fullness of life.

So back to the list. I wrote a list of all the things I want to instill into her heart…the qualities and characteristics that I want to see in her. I’m not concerned about what she will become or do with her life. If she wants to be a teacher or an astronaut or a line cook at a fancy restaurant, that’s all fine. But I am concerned about her becoming a woman, about growing up into all that she was designed for. These are some of the things I want for her:

I want her to be unhurried.
I want her to appreciate people and the beauty around her.
I want her to have freedom in who she is.
I want her to be a lover of God.
I want her to delight in being a woman.
I want her to work hard, but also know how to rest and be still.
I want her to believe in her own beauty.

I wrote this list and I sat back, stunned and overcome. Because this is the thing I saw in that moment…if I want all these things for her, I have to want all these things for me. If I want all these things for her, I need to walk in these ways as well. She’s looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. She’s looking to me to live out all of the things that I wish for her to live out.

Help me, Lord.

What about you: what are some things you value to instill into your children?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

You know what’s great about having weekend visitors? It makes it feel like you are on vacation too. Win!

My parents and sister came up from South Carolina to spend the weekend with ~~Ayla~~ us, and it was a great couple of days together with them. They came in late on Thursday night, so we spent a lazy morning over coffee, breakfast, and conversation the next day before going into the city for a lunch outing at Butchertown Hall (which has fast become one of our faves…the food is outstanding and the interior design feels like something right out of joanna gaines design book). We grabbed coffees and pastries after lunch and then settled back in at home for the rest of the day. Taco soup for supper, watching Woodlawn (really good, btw), sticky date cake for movie snack/dessert.

Saturday was such a lazy, relaxing day…well, at least for us girls. Ben and dad worked on finishing up the kitchen flooring and I love it! We still have some edging trim to finish it off, but we’re waiting to put that in until we get new carpet installed, hopefully within the next few weeks. The rest of us sat around with our books and magazines and it just literally felt like a vacation! Such a fun time. We had dinner at a friend’s house that evening before coming home to crawl into bed early since we were so exhausted from our lazy day, hehe.

Ben and I took advantage of the grandparents on Sunday morning and asked them to keep Ayla for us while we went out for a breakfast date. They so kindly obliged, and I think secretly liked that we were leaving them alone with their little grand-daughter for a few hours. We had breakfast at Steadfast Coffee, and the savory polenta porridge and poached egg/smashed avocado/pickled onion breakfast sandwich on brioche were some of the tastiest things we had all weekend. My family left for home a little before noon, and we spent the rest of the afternoon staying warm in front of the fireplace. According to the weather man, we were in for a big winter storm for the afternoon/evening, but it never really developed into anything much. But we soaked up the cozy day and the quality time together with my two favorites made it the sweetest Valentine’s Day yet.

What about you: what was the best thing about your V-day weekend?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!