Mother Love

motherhood + home + family

CURRENTLY + OTHER THINGS

First of all, I would like to say a huge-huge thank you to so many of you who have been so encouraging and supportive of me in this blog thing. There have been several of you in the past few weeks who have blessed me in the things I share here, whether verbally, text messages, comments, etc. Thank you. It gives me courage every time. There are days where I can feel really close to quitting…those days where comparison wants to tell me that what I have here is worthless, or where fear tells me it’s too difficult to talk about the personal things, or where lies tell me that everything about this blog is just silly.

I was actually wrestling with this just this morning…questioning whether this blog and writing is a good thing for me or for anyone else…and I felt this inside my soul: God has given me a gift to write, to express thoughts and feelings and battles through words. It is a gift, not of myself, but something from Him. A gift is meant to be used…it’s meant to be used to bless, inspire, and encourage others in the best way that I can.

The same is true for you. Whatever gifts and talents and passions you have been given are meant to be used. We’re all different…some people sing, or create art, or speak, or make food, or play music…all those are gifts. And we’re responsible to be responsible with them. Use them. Cultivate them. Bless your world with them. That’s what they are for.

Ok, so I got a little off track there.

Currently it is freezing here in New York. As in like, I-don’t-want-to-go-anywhere-because-its-so-cold. We had some beautiful and mild days last week that were such a tease, but winter has put itself back in control these days.

Currently I just want to go to this adorable place and sit, eat, and drink for hours. They honestly have the best granola I’ve ever had in my life, and I just want it. Now.

Currently I just feel un-inspired. It’s like the feeling-like-I-just-want-to-veg-out-and-play-games-on-my-iPhone-all-day-type of feeling. I feel tired and….well, tired. I’m not trying to be negative here, just saying’ that there are just those days where nothing creative and awesome and inspired is coming out. And just so you know, I’m really not sitting and playing games on my phone all day, because in all reality that just makes it worse.

Currently I’m struggling with this weird pain in my hip that won’t go away. I did the unfortunate thing and googled my symptoms, which is never a good idea, by the way. According to my findings, I either need surgery or I’m dying or it’s a sciatic nerve that will haunt me for the rest of my life, haha. Ok, maybe not quite, but I find it so amusing how hypochondriac I can become when I starting googling symptoms.

Currently I need to go get lunch made for my handsome husband that will be coming home in a few. Cheers for lunch dates!

What about you: do you have days that you struggle feeling inspired or motivated? What do you do to get out of the slump?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

ON COMPETITION + COMPARISON AGAIN

Can I talk again about competition + comparison?

Ok, good, because I’m doing that today.

Sometimes I feel like some of the things I write are a bit repetitive. Maybe that’s because these kinds of posts come out of what I have to work through personally, and since this whole comparison thing is something I haven’t mastered or fully overcome yet, I write on.

I will be honest with you: sometimes I feel comparison rise up so strong in my heart. And then the competition comes with it. I compare, then I find myself lacking in whatever area I’m comparing, and then I set about figuring out how I can get better than him or her so when I compare again I can realize that, hey, I’m not so bad after all.

I despise that about myself.

I despise that feeling rising up inside of me that first of all compares and then sets out to compete.

I despise how comparison and competition makes people a kind of enemy, because in my mind they are the ones making me feel so down on myself.

I despise how this whole thing drives a wall into relationships, because it’s hard to feel free and relational with someone you are competing against.

Maybe you don’t struggle with this, and if you don’t, good for you. But if you are like me and have to fight against this feeling sometime, then hi.

For example, I can do that with my blog. If I start to compare to others that I either know or don’t know who have blogs, then I quickly start to feel silly and uncreative and like my page designs looks weird or whatever. When that happens, I have three courses of action to choose from:

> don’t give in to the comparison/competition
> give in to the comparison/competition and set out to make my blog way better than anyone else’s
> shut down and cut off what I have been given in the way of inspiration and creativity.

If I choose number one, there is peace in the knowledge that I am who I am and they are who they are. Everyone’s creativity and inspiration is different, and that’s a good thing. We should celebrate the God-given awesome-ness about other people, not compete against it.

If I choose number two, then all I find is striving and drivenness in my life. Not fun, my friends. Not fun at all.

If I choose number three, then I think something good and God-given would be shut down in me. Also not fun.

I’m just using the blog-thing as an example, but this can apply in any area of life. We can compare and compete with virtually anything. I struggle with comparing my style, body, creativity, personality, voice, talents, and popularity with others. And when I give in to that comparison, it will totally ruin my day. It just makes me feel down and negative and generally awful.

So what do we do? Well, it is, of course, always easier said than done, but really the only thing we can do is choose to stand against it. I’ve done that several times just this week when I felt myself comparing, just choosing in my soul to not go there. It’s not always easy and most times it just feel weird, because I think sometimes we get so used to finding our worth based on comparison. But for me, I know it’s worth the fight. It’s worth the fight to shove comparison away because I know there is something greater on the other side.

Like peace.

What about you: what are your thoughts on comparison + competition, and how have you seen this play out in your own life?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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