We hit twenty-four weeks today, you guys!

That means in (hopefully) less than four months our little one will be in our arms, and I cannot wait. I’m sure every mama can relate to the feeling of feeling like the birth of this baby inside of you will never arrive, and I am starting to feel that more and more these days. It’s like some days my arms almost physically ache to hold this little one and rock him and snuggle him and all the little things that come with being a mommy. I know I will laugh at this eventually, but I even wake up at night wishing my baby was crying and I could get up and take care of him. I’m sure that’s easy to feel when I’m not actually sleep-deprived and feeling overwhelmed, hehe.

But sometimes I marvel at how much I’m actually looking forward to this baby…not that I felt like I wouldn’t be excited when the time came for me to have a child, but I really felt like I would probably struggle at least a little bit in thinking about the reality of the massive change coming to my little world. I don’t know if it the grace of God or just my inner mommy-heart that I never really knew was in there coming out – perhaps a bit of both – but I feel so-so-so ready for this change, so ready to embrace all that being a mom and a parent entails.

I am still feeling super good, and if weren’t for the little baby belly that is slowly stretching itself outward, I would hardly know that I was pregnant. Well, ok, I do have those endless trips to the bathroom (this is tmi but it amused me so endlessly…i was in town yesterday and seriously used the restroom in every single store except one) and middle of the night insomnia spells and I’m definitely more emotional than normal, BUT besides those minor inconveniences, I feel like my normal self. No nausea or food aversions (i’m even back to eating kale) or overwhelming exhaustion. Yay!

I feel the baby moving and kicking every day now, and that is so super fun! Ben felt the kick for the first a few weeks ago, and I will never forget the look of sheer wonder and happiness on his face from that tiny little kick for as long as I live. These little kicks throughout the day are such special reminders of the life and health of this little one, and I feel so grateful for each day of life.

We’ve started compiling lists of the essentials that we need for the little one, and it is definitely more extensive than I realized it would be! So many things…stroller and car seat and crib and nookies and snuggly blankets and baby monitor and of course cute little things to wear (that’s the best part of the list, haha). We’ve gotten a few things checked off, and I have a small collection of onesies and little things that I can’t wait to use on my baby. It’s amazing what you can find in baby consignment shops and thrift stores if you look! Of course, I’m a little limited in what I can get since we are waiting till the end to find out if we have a boy or girl, but I’m a big neutrals person anyway so the greys and whites and browns work just fine for me.

I’ve also started working on designing the nursery room, and have a few ideas that will be so fun to put together once we are ready to set up the room. Right now, the room we will use for the nursery is our guest room, so I want to wait a few more months to switch it to baby room. Ben painted the one wall we needed redone a few months ago, so we have that part finished, and so once we get our big items finished or purchased, we can get started on putting everything in place. I’m doing a very white + neutrals theme (no surprise there) with some natural wood and a few darks to give a little contrast. I can’t wait to see how if it actually comes together like it looks like in my mind.

What about you: what are the baby essentials you recommend?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Hey guys!

I’m still alive and well, and actually feeling very alive and very well these days. We are well into the second trimester of this pregnancy, and it’s definitely been the fun part so far! It was about a month ago that I really felt a big difference in my energy levels and even my emotional/mental levels, and I felt like I finally returned to a semblance of normal. It’s a sort of new-normal, but at least I don’t feel like someone else has taken over my body and mind like it felt like for those first few months.

I’m still feeling pretty mellow and slower than I usually am, and some days my brain feels majorly foggy and I am extremely clumsy (even more so than normal). I have a hard time remembering the simplest of things sometimes, and I feel like I’ve had more of what they call “blonde moments” in the past few months than I have in my entire lifetime. Oddly enough, it’s a little intriguing and even fun to feel my personality changing and mellowing. I’ve always secretly wanted to be one of those gentle, laid-back types who just float along on the winds of the day, not really caring what happens or when it happens or how things go. I’m generally a fairly opinionated person, and I’ve honestly lost a lot of my opinions. Most days I just get annoyed when I have to make a decision about something, and that just makes me laugh at myself. I love it.

Today is our official H A L F  W A Y mark, which feels unbelievably unbelievable! If the last half goes by as quickly as the first half, then wow…April is like, tomorrow. Not that I mind, because some days my arms almost physically ache to hold the little one that is growing in my belly. I just want to snuggle and kiss and smell and feed and bathe and be a mommy this very day, this very second.

I guess I always had this kind of half-fear in my heart that when it came time to be a mommy, I would feel so completely unready for it. This child + the ones to come will completely change my life, and while of course there is no way to really fully understand how life will change until you actually experience it, I just know that it will change me and change my life completely. No more dashing off to town anytime I feel like it or sitting in coffee shops for some quiet + inspiring hours or sleeping as much as I want or as many nights on the town with my husband…and while I know those things won’t completely have to change, they will still have to change. My life will then be lived for the sake of someone else, and it will require sacrifice. Lots of sacrifice. But that’s what love is…it gives and gives and gives. I venture to say that I will know a lot more about love and it’s sacrifices by this time next year than I do now. And I like that. I feel as ready as I possibly can be to take on the role of being a mother…more ready than I ever imagined I would feel.

Our little one is about six inches long these days, and I’ve felt the barest of little flutters and kicks in the last few days. I can’t wait until they get stronger and undeniable, because the ones now are so small that I have to pretty much stop and concentrate to try to feel them. But they are there, and I love them so much.

I still don’t look super pregnant, and some days I just want to look super pregnant already. My belly is still in the looks-like-she-just-ate-a-large-burrito stage, but it is growing slowly and surely. Like I said, I am feeling super good and fairly energetic, although I still have random days where I.just.can’t.move. I can eat pretty much anything without feeling grossed out, and I even think I could handle eating the kale that’s been freaking me out since the beginning. My appetite comes and goes, and while most days I don’t have the ravenous appetite that some women talk about during this stage, I definitely do have some days where my stomach cannot fill up. I try to stay stocked up on mostly healthy snacks, and eat a lot of nuts and yogurt and cottage cheese and tons of fruit. My midwife is big on making sure I get plenty of protein in my diet, so I try to concentrate on having some with each meal and snack if possible. Although there are plenty of days where some pastry or ice cream or junky food sneak into my stomach…it’s called balance, you guys.

We are still super excited and honored with the gift of this little one, and spring-time cannot come fast enough for us!

What about you: how has children changed your life? Was the transition a difficult one for you? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts!