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It seems almost impossible to believe that our baby girl has been with us for over a week now.

It’s been one of the happiest and most fulfilling weeks of my life. I never imagined myself enjoying being a mama as much as I do, and especially a mama to a newborn. I’ve never been the baby-type of person…and I’ll hold a baby for a few minutes but then I’m always happy to give them away to someone else before they inevitably start crying for me. But everything changes when it’s your baby…I could sit and hold my Ayla June for hours, just staring at her little face and touching her soft skin and kissing her all over.

Ayla has done so well so far with adjusting to life in our home, and the first week has went a lot better than I expected it to go actually. She eats well, sleeps well, fills diapers well. My favorite moments are after she’s done nursing and she’s wide awake and just takes in the world around her with her bright eyes. I’ll pull her close to my face and she’ll look in my eyes…and just lock her eyes there for a few moments…and it’s all I can do to not explode with love and joy over this precious child that is somehow my own daughter. Every minute of pregnancy and waiting and labor was so completely worth it for the gift of this little girl.

We’ve been laying low and spending lots of time relaxing and snuggling and sleeping here. It’s been the biggest blessing to have my mom here to take care of cooking and cleaning and laundry for these two weeks, and it gives us extra time to spend loving on our daughter. We did venture out into town on Saturday for a few hours for lunch, since I was feeling pretty ready to get out after six days in the house. Ayla did great with the car ride and slept the entire time we were out, even in the middle of a noisy cafe filled with people. We were so proud! It did feel good to get out for a while, but I was also ready to come running back to my safe little home. Babies seem so small and vulnerable out in the big, big world!

One more thing…I will try to restrain myself from blogging ever and only about my Ayla June. She consumes my world so that might be a little tough at first here (hehe!) Thanks to you all for your congratulations and excitement with us over our little one! I wish you all could meet her and hold her and touch her sweet face.

Here are five things I love:
– this lullaby
– this maxi dress
– this looks refreshing
– couldn’t resist this
– this moment

Have a great week!

What about you: what was the best thing about your weekend?

The only way to describe the past weekend is with this…”it was the worst of times, it was the best of times.“

Best and worst…in the same weekend. I started out as an emotional, overwhelmed wreck and ended as a refreshed, renewed woman! Flowers, chocolate, sleep, and quality time with my husband will do that to me…

Honestly, Friday and Saturday were some of the hardest days I’ve had in a long time…and it was just like a culmination of the weeks of anticipation and excitement and readiness, but all of which have only ended with disappointment at the end of each day. My hormones were all over the place, and I literally went from laughing to crying in a matter of seconds. I was just exhausted emotionally. I just felt done. So tired of feeling excited…so tired of being disappointed when I went another day or another night without my baby in my arms.

Ben and I are both big all-in’ers in whatever we do…goal-oriented-get things done-put-your-heart-and-soul-into-what-is-in-front-of-you type of people. And honestly, that tendency has worked against us in this season of life, because we are just all-in for this child of ours. We live it, breath it, focus on it…it’s not a bad characteristic, but in this case, it has not been our friend. We’ve spent the past month literally thinking we would go into birth mode at any moment, which was our first mistake. #rookieparents For our next pregnancy, we’ve learned to not create expectations, no matter how progressed or labor positive things appear to be. You just gotta keep living and let things happen when they happen…don’t expect it to happen when you want!

My kind midwife ended up coming over on Saturday to check on things and to help ease my anxiety and fears. The baby is doing well and good, with good heartbeat and movements. Things are progressing towards being ready for labor…just taking it’s good sweet time! It definitely helped ease my mind and heart to know everything is still ok and looking positive. She recommended that we get away somewhere for a day or so, if we at all can…just to destress and relax. “Stressed mamas never go into labor!” My dear, sweet husband ended up finding us a last-minute Priceline hotel deal and whisked me away to Rochester for two glorious days! I woke up on Sunday morning and it felt like the entire world had been lifted from my shoulders…like I could breathe again. Just being in a different place and focusing on something else was such a relief.

We had a brunch date and went for walks and hung out at the pool and ate burgers and read books and relaxed to our heart’s content. It was amazing! It was just what I needed. I came home on Monday afternoon ready to face the week ahead, no matter what that looks like. I felt renewed with a grace to walk through each day that comes. The Lord has given us so many great and wonderful promises…so many great and wonderful things! Our child is part of those promises, and my heart feels an incredible sense of belief in His good plans for us. He knows the best time for this little one to come into the world.

So onward we wait!

PS. Ben and I have both been blown away with all the kindness + encouragement from so many people! Your prayers + love during these weeks have been amazing, and we are so grateful to be surrounded with such a caring community. xoxo

Here are five things I love:

– this wise article
– this is too cute
– this looks yum
– and this
– this is so pretty

What about you: how was your weekend?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!