Mother Love

motherhood + home + family

THE FIRST FEW WEEKS

We are almost three weeks into being a family of four, and we are slowly getting it figured out, I think.

The first week after Aveline was born was both the best week and the hardest week. We were soaking up the newness of a baby and just planting ourselves in that sweet little bubble that comes after a baby…but it was also the hardest days with Ayla and just trying to balance it all in that first week was a challenge at times. I was not at all prepared for the strange disconnection I would feel with Ayla in that first week, and it broke my heart so many times when I would feel her pull away from me. She would often just look at me with a kind-of-confused look on her face when I would try to talk or engage with her, and would hardly let me hold her or snuggle with her. I was prepared for her to have a hard time accepting the baby, but I just didn’t ever think about how it would affect my relationship with her. She would fuss and whine about anything and everything, and I knew she was just trying to figure it all out. My mom spent the first week with us, and if we hadn’t had her help with Ayla during the days, I’m not sure what we would have done! The first six days were the hardest, but by the seventh day, she suddenly seemed to snap back to normal. And now she is back to her chatty self and has been such a trooper with the transition.

I am so thankful to have an easy recovery from this birth, and honestly could hardly even tell or feel that I had a baby by the next day. Recovery was a world of difference from Ayla’s birth! Aveline had a few really rough nights that first week and I would be up with her until after one o’clock just trying to get her to settle to sleep, but thankfully she has her days and night figured out now. She wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse, but usually is able to settle right back down to sleep after her tummy is full.

This week is the first that I’ve been on my own with the two girls, and we are slowly getting our new routines figured out. Aveline usually wakes up for the day at five or six, which is actually nice because then I am able to get her fed and put down for her first nap by the time Ayla wakes up. And then Ayla and I are able to do our normal morning together with breakfast and Bible reading and Little Baby Bum and brushing teeth and getting dressed while Avy is napping. Ayla has done so well this week and has just been extra patient and kind when I need to take care of her sister. It’s a big adjustment for her for sure, but she’s handling it with a lot of grace.

I am feeling almost back to normal, although my hormones did hit me over the weekend and I was so weepy and emotional about everything. I’m not normally a big cryer, so it feels so odd to just want to cry over everything! But I feel more leveled out now and not as overwhelmed or emotional. I’m so thankful for a midwife who took the time to talk to us about some of the postpartum emotions and feelings, and that they are normal and just to go with them instead of trying to stuff them inside. So I just cried when I needed to cry, even if I didn’t even know why I was crying.

So we are doing good, adjusting, finding new routines and new normals. Being a mama of two is a lot more challenging and stretching than it is with one, but anything that is worthwhile doing has it’s elements of challenge and stretch. So thankful for the two that we have been given to love!

 

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AVELINE JANE’S BIRTH STORY

Aveline Jane, 6 lbs. 3 oz. 19.75 inches.

We welcomed our second child into our home and family on September 2, and we are overjoyed to have two daughters to love on! It’s going to be such fun to watch these two little girls grow up together and see what they become, and it still feels surreal at moments to realize that I have two daughters. It’s such a gift!

I love reading birth stories, and I already shared a short version on Instagram, but here’s the long version for those who like to read these things too::

My due date was Friday, September 1, and we were really hoping and praying for a timely birth with this one, especially since Ben’s best friend was getting married in New York the very next weekend and I wanted him to be able to be there for the wedding so badly. I really had to work through some anxiety and worry about this pregnancy turning out like it did with Ayla (we miscalculated her due date and she was born almost a month later than the original date!), and my emotions just felt so raw some days. I just made sure to stay busy with lots of outings with Ayla, and it truly was a special season for me and her in those last few weeks…just soaking up the time with my first-born. I literally felt our connection and bond grow so much during those weeks, and I am so grateful for that.

I had a prenatal checkup appointment in the morning on my due date, and my midwife and I sat and chatted for about an hour while she did the usual routine of checking the baby and taking my blood pressure, etc. She didn’t check me for dilation or internal progress, which I’m actually thankful for…I feel like sometimes knowing the numbers can make you either too hopeful or too discouraged, and really your body will just do what your body will do no matter what numbers or “progress” says. She left our house about eleven o’clock, and almost as soon as she was gone, I started in with some light contractions. I didn’t think much of it because I had been getting Braxton’s off and on all week, but they would always stop within an hour or two. We went about our routine and I fed Ayla her lunch and put her down for a nap, and then sat down to my own lunch at one o’clock. I realized as I was sitting there that I was still getting these tightenings and that they were actually coming fairly close together. So I downloaded a contraction timing app and started timing them…they were coming at every five minutes and lasting for forty-five seconds or so. They kept up this way for the rest of the afternoon, and by the time Ben got home from work, I was started to feel just a liiiiiiiiiiitttle excited…but still not convinced it was real. We decided to go into town for dinner, since we knew we would just drive ourselves crazy by sitting at home just waiting to see if this was real labor.

We had dinner at a new pizza place in Nashville, and while we were eating, contractions were stronger but spacing out farther in between. We finished eating and headed back home. I texted my midwife on the way back to let her know I was still contracting fairly regularly and wondered if this was most likely it since it had been going on so long. She texted back that more than likely they wouldn’t stop at this point, and then we started getting excited!

We got home and got Ayla ready for bed and did the bedtime routine (with a couch family selfie for the last time as a family of three) and took her upstairs for bed. I held her as we sang our usual bedtimes songs and said Psalm 23 with her…and I just sat there crying my eyes out because I realized that this was it:: this was the last time it would be just the three of us. It was such an odd blend of emotions in that moment…overwhelmed with excitement and joy about this new baby, but also overwhelmed with a kind of sadness and mourning about the sweet little season we were leaving behind.

 We put her to bed and managed to pull ourselves together. Ben and I then watched a movie then for the next few hours (if you haven’t seen The Hundred Foot Journey, do! it’s a cute film) to keep ourselves occupied, and contractions were intensifying a little but staying about the same. I was getting a little discouraged, but knew there was just nothing I could do about it…if it wasn’t the right time for the birth, then…it just wasn’t the right time!

By the time the movie ended, my contractions started spacing farther apart again, only coming ten to fifteen minutes apart, so we decided to try to get some sleep. But within a few minutes of turning out the light, they were suddenly hitting a minute and a half apart lasting for forty-five seconds. I could tell these were different…and it kind of freaked me out that they were coming so close and getting harder with each one. I woke Ben and texted my midwife and she said she would head right over. Ben went to work setting up the birth pool, and I had to concentrate and walk my way through each contraction by this point. I was so happy though…like, this was happening!

By the time my midwife arrived at twelve thirty, the contractions had lessened and spaced out, and I was really worried that I overreacted and told her to come too soon. She got all her things set up, and then checked me and realized that the baby’s head wasn’t totally face-down, but kind of sidewise. She had me start on the Miles Circuit, which felt awkward with my hind-end up the air, but it worked! Within minutes of starting the circuit, I started with hard, active labor. I stuck with the circuit positions for about forty-five minutes before I needed a better way to get through the contractions, so I went into the birth pool. The water relaxed me instantly and really helped me with the last part of labor. I’m not sure how long I labored in the water before I felt ready to push, but contractions started coming hard and fast at the very end and thankfully she came out with only two minutes of pushing. And that moment…oh that moment when that little one that’s been growing inside of you for nine months is finally plopped on your chest, and you just fall back with an intense blend of relief and joy and you feel that sweet, tiny little body underneath your hands and you realize that you did it…that moment is like nothing else. We were pretty surprised to discover this baby was a girl (we were ninety nine percent convinced she was a boy!), but not disappointed in the least. We were just happy and grateful for a new, healthy little one, and now I cannot even imagine having a boy instead of her!

We named her Aveline Jane:: child wished for; gift from God. And she truly is the embodiment of her names. We were ready for another baby for over six months, and the Lord did another small miracle to give us this second daughter. We love her to pieces and are so happy to call her our own.

We’ve spent the last two weeks in that sweet newborn bubble, but I’m feeling ready to get back to real life and get the mom-of-two thing figured out. Send me any of your tips and advice that you have for this transition season…I’ve just been praying for grace upon grace over us all as we figure it all out.

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