little one

The other day I made a list…because you know I love my lists.

I made a list because I realized that my little girl was getting older, growing right before my eyes. She’s starting to watch me and her dad, constantly noticing what we are doing…and she’s taking it in. She’s watched us all along of course, sitting in her Bumbo seat or bouncing in her jumper. But she’s just been a baby so far and it was just watching. There wasn’t that grown-up, observant look in her eyes that she has now…that taking in of all that is going on around her. It’s good, of course, that observant eye. But I’ll be honest…it scares me sometimes.

Because she’s watching me. She’s watching me all day, every day. She sits in the kitchen at my feet as I prepare food and bake treats and clean the dishes. She watches me curl my hair and put on make up and pick out clothes for the day. She’s right beside me as I fold laundry. She hears me when I talk to her dad and sits on my lap when I’m spending time with friends. She’s with me as I buy groceries or shop for things. She watches me as I sit, walk, eat, rest, love, work, worship. And in all of this, she is looking to me to show her what a woman is.

I will be her standard of normal for womanhood.

What an undeniably sacred, overwhelming, beautiful calling. I feel so inadequate for this…I feel so unprepared. I feel like I need her to stay small for a whole lot longer yet so I can get my act together. I don’t feel ready to have this precious little girl watching me and looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. But maybe I won’t ever feel ready, really…because we don’t ever fully arrive, right? We’re always growing, changing, journeying toward greater freedom and fullness of life.

So back to the list. I wrote a list of all the things I want to instill into her heart…the qualities and characteristics that I want to see in her. I’m not concerned about what she will become or do with her life. If she wants to be a teacher or an astronaut or a line cook at a fancy restaurant, that’s all fine. But I am concerned about her becoming a woman, about growing up into all that she was designed for. These are some of the things I want for her:

I want her to be unhurried.
I want her to appreciate people and the beauty around her.
I want her to have freedom in who she is.
I want her to be a lover of God.
I want her to delight in being a woman.
I want her to work hard, but also know how to rest and be still.
I want her to believe in her own beauty.

I wrote this list and I sat back, stunned and overcome. Because this is the thing I saw in that moment…if I want all these things for her, I have to want all these things for me. If I want all these things for her, I need to walk in these ways as well. She’s looking to me to show her what it means to be a woman. She’s looking to me to live out all of the things that I wish for her to live out.

Help me, Lord.

What about you: what are some things you value to instill into your children?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Hey oh. I think we have a developing foodie baby on our hands!

Ayla has been tasting solids for a few months now, and she has done so good at learning to eat a variety of foods and flavors…so far. I know that sometimes those little ones do decide to suddenly become picky eaters, but I’m crossing my fingers that she will stay a non-fussy foodie baby, hehe. We are still nursing four times a day, and her routine is wake up in the morning, nurse, and then some banana or oatmeal for second breakfast. We nurse again at lunch and then followed with second lunch with avocado or sweet potato puree and maybe some applesauce or pear puree. She nurses again around three thirty after her afternoon nap, and then she gets solids for a first supper when we sit down for our supper. Her final nursing happens right before bedtime at seven.

For the first few months of solids, we mostly gave her bananas, avocado, sweet potatoes, and applesauce. But lately I’ve tried to be more intentional about introducing a wider variety of flavors and foods to her because I actually do want her to become a little foodie who’s willing to try new things and has a palate for a range of flavors. We give her small samples of our own meals if it’s something she can swallow or moosh up easily with the two little toothies she has so far, and the little face she makes when she tries something new is too cute to us. She’s usually a good sport with something new, but when something doesn’t sit well on her palate, she gives the funniest little shudder and turns her face away when we try to give her more.

A few days ago, I gave her bites of my pancakes and she loved it. She took the bigger pieces I gave her and mooshed it all up in her fingers before trying to put it in her mouth. And while half of it ended up in the high chair or on the floor, it’s cute to watch her try to learn how to put things in her mouth on her own. She’s growing up, changing right before our eyes, and it’s good and we love it.