faith + inspiration

A GOAL OF MINE:: BEING MINDFULLY PRESENT

April 08, 2016

I recently started reading Hand’s Free Mama (Sarah’s recommend!), and you guys…it’s so good.

I’ve only made it through half of the book so far (its on sale for ninety nine cents for the ebook edition right now so snatch it up!), but I have been endlessly challenged, inspired, and motivated. The author describes how her life had become a series of to-do lists, emails, phone calls, appointments, committees, etc. etc. etc. The book and the “hands free” movement came from a moment of epiphany when she realized that she was missing some of the sweetest things in life by allowing her schedule and other distractions to dictate her life. She was missing small moments with her children, rich connection with her husband, and even time for rest and rejuvenation for herself by giving in to the demands of other things that were “good,” but just not the best. She learned to reset her priorities and carve out “hands free” time that was strictly for being with the ones she loved, free of distractions.

I wasn’t so much struck with the aspect of her busy-ness, because I honestly try to protect my life and schedule from becoming busy or overwhelming. I don’t thrive on busy-ness or a full schedule, and I do what I can to keep my life from becoming that, especially in this season of our family life. But what challenged and inspired me more than anything was the reminder of practicing mindfulness in being fully present with those around me.

I am a distracted human. In today’s world, there are a million things vying for my attention, and far too often I let the petty things of social media or internet browsing or texting and emailing pull me away from the ones that really matter. I never want my daughter to feel like she is hidden from my view because of the screen in front of my face. I never want my husband to feel like he is less important than the ones I’m connecting with online. I never want my to-do list to become more important than stooping down to kiss my child or taking a moment to just sit on the floor and watch her. I never want anything else to become more necessary to me than the thing that truly matters the most:: the ones I am with. I want to embrace being mindfully present, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.

Here are a few quotes taken from the book that are just too good not to share::

“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”
“At least three times a day take a moment and ask yourself what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.”
“I see you. You matter. I am watching you. When spoken and repeated every day, these messages begin to take up residence in a little one’s soul. He begins to believe his worth. She begins to carry these messages with her. He learns how to see others. She learns how to love herself and others…just from a few moments of pausing and seeing our kids.”

What about you: what are your thoughts about practicing mindfulness in being present with those around you? Do you find it easy to let distractions keep you from the things that are truly important?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

DEAR WOMAN, STOP SHAMING YOURSELF

March 31, 2016

You know what drives me crazy? It’s when I let my own insecurities and limiting beliefs about myself keep me from something amazing. Goodness, that drives me crazy.

I had a rough Easter weekend. What should have been one of the best weekends of the year spent celebrating Jesus and spending time with the ones I love was instead largely spent in some kind of weird emotional, spiritual funk. Ben was off on Friday, and I love those extra days when we can be together and go do fun outings or work on house projects. But I’ll be honest:: Friday was not a fun day. I don’t know why, really…but I felt like I under this cloud of accusation and judgment and shame. I couldn’t enjoy the breakfast outing we took together as a family and spent the entire meal wrestling against the old familiar thoughts of “you are so fat and ugly and embarrassing, you eat too much, you are worth nothing, you will never be beautiful.” I spent years living these thoughts as my truth, but Jesus has done an extraordinary work in my heart in the past two years and normally when I’m hit with negativity about myself, I can let it bounce off. But not on Friday. I spent the whole day with these lies nipping at my heart, feeling like I could’t get away from them. I spent most of the next day in the same state of mind, barely able to enjoy the time at the park with friends or the taco lunch on a perfect spring day or the time we spent on the biking trails. Shame chased me all day long and ruined what-should-have-been a perfectly delightful weekend.

I believe that shame has become one of the biggest enemies against women today. I know it’s certainly been one of my biggest enemies. Shame as defined by Brene Brown is this:: the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

Do you ever feel that way, like you don’t belong, like you’re not worthy of connection with other women, like you’re just not good enough? I so often feel like a shadow of a real woman, especially when I’m around other women. I let shame rob me of rich, meaningful relationships because I don’t walk in the worthiness that has been given to me by Jesus. I let comparison creep in, and before I know it, I’ve worked myself down into a pit of misery and dejection…feeling like I will never measure up, never be enough, never be the beautiful, worthy woman I want to be.

It’s lies, all lies. It’s the shame, coming to steal, kill, and destroy my heart. And I’ve just had enough of it! Enough of it in my life and enough of it in your life. There is no place for shame in our hearts. Jesus died to take away our shame and to give us love and belonging and connection and life abundant. When I feel the lies, accusation, the shame coming back to haunt my heart, I have to run to the One who is Truth itself. I have to. It’s the only way to get out of the funk. It’s the only way to shut down the lies and find Truth and wholeness and freedom from shame.

So go on, woman…get rid of the shame. Don’t let it keep you down any more. You are worthy, beautiful, delightful.

What about you: do you find yourself battling shame in your own heart as well? What are your thoughts on rising above this shame?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!