beauty

Do you ever have those moments or days or weeks or seasons when you just don’t like yourself very much?

Yeah, me too.

It’s not that I really struggle with feeling like a bad person or with guilt or like I’m a horrid wife/mama/friend. I mean, sure, I can always grow in each of life arenas, but that’s not the thing(s) about myself that I have a hard time being ok with generally.

The thing I can have a hard time with accepting about myself is…how I look.

You know those moments when you catch a wrong glance of yourself in the mirror or in the reverse camera view on a phone (goodness me that reverse cam! i’m convinced even the most gorgeous-ess of people couldn’t look normal in the reverse camera view on a phone, hehe) or when you’re in the dressing room and those mirrors and harsh lights just aren’t doing anything remotely good for your appearance and it makes you want to just throw down the clothes in frustration and walk out because what’s the point anyway and when your husband tells you that you are beautiful or look pretty and inside you feel like laughing and crying because it just feels so awfully untrue but yet you want it to be true…?

I really hope that you don’t know those moments at all. But I do, and I wish I didn’t. I wish I could always always always at every moment like myself completely. All of me. All of perfectly imperfect me. Maybe that’s a tall order in today’s world full of impossible standards and perfection driven appearance…but it’s my wish. Some days I feel pretty great, and I like those days. Sometimes I have an entire week when I don’t give unnecessary thought and emotions to not liking something about myself and those are good times! And I believe that one day those days and weeks will just last and last, and the inevitable lies that show up and tell me that I’m not good enough, perfect enough, beautiful enough will be distant memories. Yes, one day.

Lately I’ve been in a negative funk about myself, but I’m pulling myself out of it thank-you-very-much. It’s not so much that I’m having a hard time with my postpartum body, even though some things are squishier and bigger and just different all around. My little girl is worth all the squishiness in the world, and I would never ever ever trade her for the sake of having any part of my old self back. It’s really my whole issue with perfectionism that drives me to negativity, and that issue has been around far longer than the last ten months of pregnancy and postpartum-ness.

But like I said, I’m pulling myself out of my funk, choosing grace over perfectionism. I listened to this message again, and every word of it was so convicting and challenging to my heart. I have this quote from that sermon on my nightstand to remind me every day: Comparison and perfectionism brutalize a woman’s soul, and takes what is lovely and makes it reek of death. That literally pretty much sums it all up, right? Because when I’m in that funk of comparison and perfectionism, there is very little that is lovely about my life.

When I take anything about myself and compare it to someone else, I will always always always lose my own loveliness, my own beauty, my own self. It’s not that who I am is anything so super special…but who I am was created by God and that reason alone is enough to fight against the negative self-talk, the lies, the standards, and the idea that beautiful can be defined.

What about you: do you find yourself falling prey to the trap of comparing something or anything or everything about yourself to someone else? What are your tips in overcoming the comparison trap?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Some similar reading from the archives:

The One Thing That Keeps Me From Feeling Beautiful
The Thing I Crave
How To Feel Beautiful
What Makes a Woman Beautiful

I used to be a facial product junkie.

I’ve never struggled with bad skin problems or acne, but as a teenager, there were always the annoying pimples and red spots that seemed to show up when you least wanted them too. I’d go into the store and scour the shelves for a product that promised to make my skin as glowing and clear as the magazine pictures…only to realize a few weeks later that this product was just as lackluster as the last one I tried! My bathroom was stuffed with a thousand different half-empty bottles and useless products, and it was annoying.

A few years ago, I majorly simplified my skin care routine, and not only do I save a ton of money and bathroom storage space, but my skin has improved dramatically. Win!

Now the only things I use on my face is a gentle soap cleanser in the evening before bed, splashes of cold water in the morning, apple cider vinegar toner, and coconut oil as a moisturizer. In the few years I’ve used this routine, I can honestly say that my skin has never looked clearer or felt healthier! I also try to do some sort of facial mask once a week using either plain raw honey or a yogurt-honey combination. I notice huge differences in my skin when I do these masks, especially in the winter when the air is dry.

Toners are used for restoring the skins natural pH balance, which is disrupted from the use of soaps, cleansers, and even just normal tap water. A normal pH balance on an adult should be between four and six (with the scale ranging from one to fourteen), and most soaps and facial products will change the level to an eight or higher. The acid in a toner will help bring the level back down towards the normal and healthy range.

I use raw apple cider vinegar in my homemade toner, because it’s full of all kinds of a great things for your skin and body. The natural antibacterial and antiseptic properties of ACV is useful for cleansing and purifying, as well as helping to break up dead skin cells to keep those pores open and clear. The toner does smell mildly of vinegar, but I always add a small amount of lavender oil to help mask the smell.

I’ve also recently started adding witch hazel to my toner. Witch hazel is a natural astringent, which helps tone and tighten facial skin by removing excess oils and shrinking down pores. I like to use it around my eyes (just don’t get it in them!) to help with puffiness and dark circles. NOTE: if you have dry skin, witch hazel is not recommended.

I keep my toner in a small apothecary bottle and simply pour a small amount out on a cotton pad or washcloth to use. You could easily store this in a small mason jar as well. Also, I like to use equal amounts of water and vinegar, but you will want to play around with the amounts to suit your own skin. If you feel your skin becoming too dry, scale back on the vinegar and/or witch hazel.

ACV Facial Toner

2 T. water
2 T. raw apple cider vinegar
1 tsp. witchhazel
a few drops of lavender oil

Combine in a jar and enjoy!

What about you: what is your facial skin care routine?

I’d love to hear your thoughts!