Dear reader,
So most times I love to share myself and our life with you…but sometimes I have a hard time sharing myself and our life because, I don’t know…I like my privacy? I do love this blog…it’s fun, it’s a creative outlet, a hobby really. I feel like my blogging has changed a lot since I’ve first started two and a half years ago…but then again, I’ve changed since I started blogging two and a half years ago. When I first started Beautiful Undefined, I was struggling with some major battles in my heart and mind. I was massively insecure, battling a lot of self hatred, constantly feeling awful and ugly and dealing with the reality of having had to come face to face with my biggest fear. I was wrestling with the reality that I had an eating disorder that had taken me into a place I didn’t want to be mentally and physically. And then there I was…over twenty pounds heavier than I was six months earlier at our wedding. Those pounds were for a good reason, yes, and this physical healing and healthy weight gave me the ability to conceive and bring into the world one of the sweetest gifts…my little Ayla June. When I started this blog, I was in an intense season of trying to figure out who I was, and while I don’t claim to never have my battles with body image and food issues today, it is amazing how much freedom Jesus has given me in this area. I’m still figuring out who I am, for reals, but thankfully I know a whole lot of more of who that is these days than I ever have.
So I’ve changed in these two years. I’ve found more security in Jesus, more acceptance of myself. I’ve become a mother, which is obviously the biggest life-change. We’ve moved to a new state, found a new church, made new friends, learned so many new things about life in general and life in God and life with each other. It’s a good season, these years that we are in. Not always easy, but so incredibly good.
I’ve wrestled so much lately with what I want this blog and my online spaces to be. I have my days of feeling endlessly inspired and full of ideas for content or fun things to share…and then days of literally ready to just be done with it all because I feel conflicted with finding balance in sharing life but not over-sharing, offering inspiration but also being real and honest, highlighting the beautiful, sacred moments without projecting that I have a perfect life. I’m a big all-or-nothing-er kind of person, and so I’ve wrestled with that in my blogging and online spaces…and it’s easier for me to jump out of something that potentially presents a conflict. Thankfully I have a good man in my life who talks me off those ledges and helps me to understand that it is possible to find balance, and just because there is a potential for conflict doesn’t mean you have to run away from something.
So. This blog of mine is here for me, for you. Thank you for reading and commenting and connecting with me on these online spaces! I’ll leave you with a little survey, and I would LOVE to have you take my READERS SURVEY at the end of this post so I can hear from you in what you like to see and read here!
Five favorite books:
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
Captivating by Stasi Eldredge
Living From the Unseen by Wendy Backlund
Love After Marriage by Barry and Lori Byrne
In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
Five favorite products:
Gold Clover Tallow Balm
Great Lakes Collagen Hydrolysate
Plexus XFactor vitamins
Herbamare seasoning
Younique 3D Fiber Mascara
Five things I eat (almost) every day:
Sweet potatoes
Avocado
Dark chocolate
Apples and bananas
Coffee (i guess i technically don’t eat coffee, but…it should still count)
Five favorite websites:
Darling
Sprouted Kitchen
Homesong
The Kitchn
Pinterest
Five things I do every day:
Fix the bed
Kiss my husband
Drink coffee
Scroll Instagram
Take vitamins and probiotics
Ok, I did a survey…now it’s your turn! I’d love if you would take a minute to answer a few questions about who you are and what you like to see on this blog. It would be so helpful and inspirational to me to hear from YOU.
::CLICK TO TAKE THE SURVEY::
Thank you thank you!
Please don’t stop blogging! I had never seen your post on your story until now. You brought tears to my eyes as I read it. I too struggled with an eating disorder for quite some time so I could relate to your story in so many ways. Isn’t God so wonderful in the freedom that he brings to our lives when we surrender! It is such a journey isn’t it? Looking back it’s like wow I knew I was in bondage to it but now being on the other side I realize how much it really did have control of my whole life! Thank you for sharing your beautiful journey and being that inspiration to so many.
You are too sweet, Sari. God IS so wonderful is helping hearts (and bodies) find freedom from eating issues/body image issues. BLESS YOU in your journey, and thanks for sharing a piece of yourself with me in this!
Just came back to re-read this and your linked posts…thanks for sharing your journey and for blogging…I enjoy reading here and am thankful for your honesty–and truly think you are beautiful inside & out!